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It’s that time of year. Children sitting in a parent filled auditorium waiting to hear their name called when they can march onto stage and claim their certificate of award:
- highest average
- best all around
- All A honor roll
- AB honor roll
- perfect attendance
- most diverse
- leader of the class
- most improved
- teacher’s helper
- MVP
- Amazing artist
- best participation
- …and on and on and on the list goes, it’s endless
Headphones on
I’m glad I have on my headphones right now, because I am sure I’d be able to hear some of you through the computer screen if not. Hey, I get it. For 18 years I filled out all those certificates and handed them to smile-clad students at the rousing applause of their parents. But still. I don’t like them.
Training is tiring
Yes, our children should be taught-and then expected- to do their best in all they do. Our children should be trained to show godly character in the ordinary daily experiences of life, emphasis on trained. Scripture tells us to train up a child in the way he should go. T.R.A.I.N. Mom-exhaustion is a common theme on social media. There is a lot of commiserating that happens when one mom cries out from her own fatigue at the reins of motherhood. That’s good. We need to know we aren’t alone.
It’s ok to be tired!
Moms of newborns soon realize all those nights getting up to pee late in pregnancy were easy street compared to the sleep deprivation that is soon to rock your world; even with the rare warning, no one can prepare you for this kind of fatigue. Moms of toddlers, you’re going to be tried because that’s your toddlers job-to figure out who is in charge of their little life. Preschoolers are busy bees and they like to think they’re the only ones who need you, and they need you at all times-unless they don’t. You know you’re a mom when you’ve had a mini- panic attack at those crossroads. My dear friend with young adult children as we chatted about the teen years used to say, “Bigger children, bigger problems.” Such a wise, godly woman there. Friends, mothering isn’t easy, after all, can you think of any kind of training that isn’t challenging and downright difficult at times? Yes, mothering is tiring (and sometimes more than others), but, that’s ok! It IS ok to be tired when we’re working for good. Let’s make a conscience effort to realize and to affirm in our Sisters this truth: It’s OKAY TO BE TIRED as you fulfill this big job God has given you. (And, yes, taking care of ourselves along the way is essential, but that’s not the tired we’re talking about right now.) Training is a tiring work, but the fruit thereof is sweet! Train up a child in the way he should go… Proverbs 22:6
Consider the goal
My baby turned 25 years old the other day. Twenty-five. My love for him is incredible, I really can’t put it into words. He knows how much I love him and I am so thankful for him. It would be easy to write paragraphs commending him, but there’s just one thing.
3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear my children walk in truth.
Treasures worth our time
That scripture is speaking to those who had been converted in the ministry, but this truth is near and dear to my mothering heart. Oh that my children would learn from the years spent under my wings to love the Lord and to walk with Him. The years are short, Mommas, and you don’t really remember the days that were long-or at least you see they were worth it. In these years, as quickly as they pass, we have the opportunity to teach our children how to love and follow the Lord. While their salvation is between them and the Lord Jesus alone, we teach them what behavior is acceptable and expected as a Believer in Christ. We teach them the consequences of disobedience. And we teach them their reward for a life lived in Christ awaits in heaven, when we see Jesus face to face. Treasures worth our time and efforts accumulating are the ones that will be waiting for us in eternity. Is there anything wrong with setting goals and striving for them? NO, no, we should seek to follow the Lord and press on toward that goal wholeheartedly.
Philippians 3:14
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. KJV
I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. CSB
I Cor 9:24-27
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize. Everyone who competes in the games trains with strict discipline. They do it for a crown that is perishable, but we do it for a crown that is imperishable. Therefore I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight like I am beating the air. No, I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.
Eternal award
So why, then, do I have a problem with end of the year awards (and so many other awards we freely hand out -and pay for, actually) to our children? We are training them to expect an award, period. Not only are we training them to just to expect applause, we are teaching them to respond to applause pridefully and perfidiously alike. The stories about children who don’t, can’t or didn’t receive an award are more than sad. Award ceremonies aren’t going to ignite an under-performing (according to some standard set for the masses) child to do different but it just might ignite their parent to anger. It happens every year. Not ok. The stress children feel going into such assemblies is neither helpful or healthy. Furthermore, we are paving the path by which our children will seek to fulfill desires that are not spiritually minded, goals which do not align with becoming more Christlike. Can a great speller become more like Christ because they presented themselves to do whatever they’re doing with their whole might? Sure…maybe. I could really dissect each possible award here, but the truth I want to get to is this, the reward we want our children to strive for is eternal. I don’t mean they shouldn’t do their best in all they do (Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do with all your might Ecclesiastes 9:10)
Fostering entitlement
Teaching our children there’s a reward for working hard or hardly working is faulty. Children aren’t stupid. When it comes to end of year awards, they know whose grades are higher than the rest, but that often has little to do with the student’s work ethic and more to do with his or her strengths–or dare I say favor of the teacher, gasp! God calls them talents or gifts and any praise then rightfully belongs to the Lord. As the hierarchy in a classroom goes, from highest average on top to Most Improved. Every teacher and student, and parent, knows what this really is about. Nope, nothing wrong with improving. But seriously, you know what you know here. Better, we teach our children to work hard at what is put before them, to live earnestly toward their reward in heaven and to show Christ in their lives. Education in America, in most of the world, takes godly-upbringing to places the Lord never wants it to go. Worldly knowledge is not something we want to puff-up our children over, but when our children receive a prize for a high score, what do we expect they’ll think about themselves? The child who knows they did nothing to earn this certificate, and let me stop you mid- thought before you say that’s not true, play into the hands of doing the same nothing and receiving the same prizes. Year after year. Entitlement in the making, and in a grand way.
Worldly Knowledge is no Knowledge at all
I love this from https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-knowledge.html: Worldly knowledge is a false knowledge which is opposed to the truth, and Paul urges us to “Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith” (1 Timothy 6:20-21). Human knowledge is opposed to God’s knowledge and therefore is no knowledge at all; rather, it is foolishness.
No excuses
Christian parents have a responsibility to the Lord far greater, and far different looking (do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind: Rm 12:2), than what we continue to celebrate. We have no excuse to allow our children to be taught anything that stands against scripture. None. Isaiah warns us about rationalizing that which is against God and calling it anything other than evil! Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe, woe unto those! Instead, let us encourage our children in God’s Word, in HIS wisdom and in knowledge of Him.
Are we striving for faithful or successful children
Let us teach our children to do right, to work as unto the Lord with all their might, to render unto God what is God’s-and that the praise for any gifts He has given us to point the world to Him, and to love the Lord with all their heart and soul, and let us not be sidelined by the folly of the world. Are we striving for faithful children in God’s eyes or successful children in the world’s eyes? Be careful here. Because the broken world we live in is deceitful and strong, until now, you may not have even realized you’ve been pulled into this cesspit. Now that you know, it’s time to climb out.
Greater is He who is in you
The Lord is near for those who are in Christ: I John 4:4b greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. Our wisdom, our worth, our wit, does not come from an award, a diploma or the letters following our name. All wisdom, ALL wisdom and knowledge and understanding begins with and belongs in God.
Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Those of us who are in Christ can live in Him and and the Lord is stronger and greater than the world
Motivate to righteousness
We’ve been given a great work to do, Moms. You don’t have to abhor the end of the year awards or even agree with my professional assessment of their mode to merit (and lack thereof), but I hope you pause long enough here around the scriptures shared to prayerfully consider what is important in training up our children in the Lord. I know there’s a chance, because of lack of tone, to take what I’ve written and run with it straight to the Debbie Downer section of praising our children, but that’s not what I’m about. Anyone who knows me will tell you I am the biggest cheerleader you’ll find for our children and teenagers (and their moms for seeking the Lord). That baby I mentioned earlier had Momma standing right next to him beaming with pride at each accomplishment he worked passionately for in his baseball career (character training on and off the field)…but the participation trophies in the early years lined up along the likes of these end of the year awards. That’s not how life works, more importantly, it’s not how life in Christ works. We do right because it’s the right thing to do; expecting a reward for doing so focusses our hearts on the (factitious) outcome instead of the One we are obeying, and teaching our children as much is foolish. When we recognize our children, let it be to motivate them in righteousness and let the praise fall to our Heavenly Father’s ears for His blessings in, on and for, their lives.
Wisdom, instruction, and understanding
Proverbs 23: 22 Listen to your father who gave you life,
and don’t despise your mother when†she is old.
23 Buy — and do not sell — truth,
wisdom, instruction, and understanding.†
24 The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly,
and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him.†
25 Let your father and mother have joy,†
and let her who gave birth to you rejoice.
26 My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
