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Searching
I spent the weekend in a mad search for something I would need in my hand in a few short days, but wasn’t where it belonged. From there, it all unfolded.
(To hear more about my search and what else I found, listen HERE.)
Before long I was completely reorganizing my closet, which led to my dressers, office and, you get the picture. I was caught up in my personal version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.
Closet Clean Out
Now, before I continue, you have to know-my closet and drawers look amazing! What a strange way to accomplish a complete closet clean out! But, my clothes and shoes were not the only area that got a good purging.
Usually I am super organized and could grab my birth certificate and any important piece of paper in a second, but not this time. All of my family’s documents were exactly where they I keep them, yet mine were not in their rightful place.
File by File
So, out came my files and one by one I searched each folder with great anticipation. Knowing what my sight was set on, I went file by file. There’s a lot of life in these files; we’ve been married 33 years. This could take awhile. It didn’t take long before my search got sidelined. Suddenly I was thumbing through a lifetime of memories.
Hoping the Gliding Motion of my Soft Rocking Chair Would Soothe My Heart
My first baby turned 27 a few months ago, he’s a wonderful young man and I’m still getting used to his empty room. Believe it or not, I sat alone in my living room, hoping the gliding motion of my soft rocking chair would soothe my heart as I read through his lifetime.
This is one Parenting Decision I’d do Differently in a Heartbeat
At last I listened to the Lord and took him out of school to homeschool, but it took awhile. Much too long. This is one parenting decision I’d do differently in a heartbeat and never would have put him in school. (A troubled heart full of things Christian moms need to know both from my time in the classroom and time at home-in God’s Word, but that’s a post for another day.)
Thankfully God’s grace out weighed my bull-headedness and we spent the majority of his school years together. Currently, I had kindergarten report cards, first grade awards and reminders from second grade in my hands and strewn far and wide all around me.
A Big Pile of Trash
On one hand I saw memories overlapping with each glimpse to a new pile. Conversely, on the other hand-and in the same scope of vision- I saw a really big pile of trash.
Now, from years passed all in one place were test scores, filled worksheets, five year old stick figures of Dad, crayon-drawn hearts with “Mom” scribbled on scrap paper, notes from teachers, art projects worn and torn, and more grew a mountain, page by page, on the floor next to me. How could nearly thirty years have escaped me so quickly?
Trash to Treasure
A few of these are treasures and will be tucked away safely. But for the most part, each paper stacked atop of the last is nothing worth saving. It’s been said that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, but today my treasure turned to trash.
Today, Everything Homeschooling Went to the Trash
The growing pile jarred memories from the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart. I am still getting used to my oldest calling another house his home; these memories are treasures. My baby is closer today to 18 than he is to 17. I’m not ready for all things adult in his life, too, but it’s reality. My boys, how I cherish each of them. I am thankful for these once little boys of mine.
But today, everything homeschool, all 18 years of it, went to the trash.
I don’t expect this is great motivation for those who are in the crux of homeschooling years. Mommas who wonder if they’ll make it through today while the coffee still drips into their first cup of the morning. Wives who are holding all things together while their husbands work or in their absence.
Yet, encouragement is exactly what I aim for here.
High School Students
I remember when my high school students would come in and out of my classroom like one of those rotating hotel doors in NYC. In, out, round and round they’d go from one class and subject to the next.
Where God had Gifted Them
Some of them were real brainiacs, far smarter than I will ever be. Others excelled in sciences and math as if their life depended on it at 15, while some would sit for hours stringing words together rivaling the likes of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. Each shined where God had gifted them, and each gathered and deduced and dispersed academics as the individuals they were.
Retain All the Academic Information
Like my own children, those teenagers took with them some of the information they were taught through the pages and time from their academic assignments.
The key word here is some. Not any one of them would retain all the academic information each teacher spent hours a day presenting to them, and even testing them over. Yes, they’ll remember some things. And, somewhere down the road, they’ll likely learn many of the things they once considered irrelevant. That’s life.
Losing Sleep for Fear You Will Fail Them
So, when you find yourself losing sleep over what your child needs to know or from fear of what you will fail to teach them, remind yourself of this truth. No one learns everything they need to know in school. Not in kindergarten and not by the time their graduation cap is flying high above their head in celebration.
What’s The Point
Then, what’s the point? Why would any woman trade all a career has to offer her family for spending her life at home teaching her own children if in the end it’s all going in the trash?
Good Question
You know the passage in Ephesians we are going to look at a little closer. Not only have you read this passage, you’ve probably talked over it with your children.
So let’s quickly look at it here:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4
Fathers
In our house we call it micromanaging. No one wants someone to hover over them while they’re doing something. This is especially true if that someone will be pointing out things they’re doing wrong, or just a different way to do it. The message that is sent: you’re not good enough.
I’m sure you’ve been there. We all know what it feels like to think we’re not good enough. From a child’s perspective, when it comes down from their father, it’s not just horrible, it’s crushing.
Provoke Not
The Lord knows that, of course. Here in beginning of verse four He makes a strong statement against it, too: And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.
It literally means not to exasperate your child. I can’t describe it any better than what I found in bible hub.
3949 parorgízō (from 3844 /pará, “from close-beside” and 3710 /orgízō, “become angry”) – properly, rouse someone to anger; to provoke in a way that “really pushes someone’s buttons,” i.e. to “really get to them” in an “up-close-and-personal” way (because so near, literally “close beside”).
bible hub
So, you now know better how to explain to and pray for your child’s father when it comes to the easy pattern of micromanaging your son or daughter. I personally think this is most common between a dad and his son, but the Bible doesn’t discriminate in that way.
Moms, Pray For Your Husband in this Way
No matter how common or effortless it is to fall into this standard, it’s damaging to our children and it’s sinful. Dads, try to do better by making a concerted effort not to treat your children this way. Moms, pray specifically for your husband in this way. God’s ways are right, and He will hear your prayers.
Now we’re getting somewhere. I haven’t forgotten the question: Why would a woman give up all the world has to offer: social status, self-respect and financial security, for staying at home and teaching her children?
I think the biggest part of our answer lies right here in Ephesians. Same verse as above, but at the end, now.
…but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
God’s Order
But wait a minute, this is a continuum to fathers. Then, it can’t be an answer to our question for women, moms and wives, right?
Wrong.
So, I don’t have time to go into any depth about God’s order for married women in this world. It has nothing to do with worth or equality, but it has everything to do with God’s order, for our good and for His glory.
And for our children’s eternity.
Living Faithfully
Living life faithfully, instead of what the worlds deems as successfully, should be our focussed goal. Is there success outside of faithfulness? No. The sorority of feminism cannot offer us more than God’s best for us. And God’s best for us isn’t dependent on the wisdom of the world. No power, no strength, no efficiency, wealth, nor right-fighting army will ever satisfy us to our core. Only God and His word can do that. If you’re tired of trying so hard, try changing your focus; what, who, are you striving for?
So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 4:6
Read more from this blog post HERE
That said, let’s get back to the answer we’re looking for. Why would we sacrifice so much of our lives to teach our own knowing that pile of trash will grow with each passing year?
It’s Greek to Me: παιδείᾳ paideia
It’s Greek to me. The answer is right there, Ephesians 6:4…paideia. Fathers, the spiritual head of their own wife and of their family, is directed by God, our Father, how to raise these children He’s given us.
Thayer’s Greek Lexicon STRONGS NT 3809: παιδεία
παιδεία (Tdf. παιδία; (see Iota)), παιδείας, ἡ, (παιδεύω), the Sept. for מוּסָר;
1. the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment): Ephesians 6:4 (cf. Winers Grammar, 388 (363) note); (in Greek writings from Aeschylus on, it includes also the care and training of the body.) (See especially Trench, Synonyms, § xxxii.; cf. Jowett’s Plato, index under the word Education).
BIBLEHUB
So, that’s a great word study, but where is it in the verses we’re looking into? Right in front of our noses, but we miss it more than we get it.
Discipline, training, nurture.
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture (paideia) and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4
Do you see it now? It is our biggest assignment from the Lord regarding raising up sons and daughters to love and serve the Lord. Fathers-see to it God’s command is carried out in your home. Mothers-see to it your children are educated just as the Lord commands here.
These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
OUR BIGGEST ASSIGNMENT FROM THE LORD
When it comes to our children, a spiritual perspective should be our parenting and educational goal. We are instructed to raise up and train our children in God’s ways. Their individual spiritual discipleship is our biggest assignment from the Lord who gave them to us. Don’t take that lightly.
Worldview and Academics
Considering academics, we could teach our children so much-far and above what most students learn-in order to prepare them for their future profession. And maybe that is a good thing. Sometimes the education of academics displaces a biblical foundation and worldview.
(By the way, this applies even if you end up with a prodigal-our obedience to the Lord is always right, and He is always faithful. We do what He tells us to and He does what He will in the lives of the blessings we call sons and daughters.)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
Matthew 16:26
You see, if all the years of collected papers end up in the trash, it’s ok. The truest treasure in raising your children God’s way, to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind is the real treasure on earth. And that is NOT trash!
Treasure in Eternity
And it’s the real treasure in eternity, too. So, Momma, when you’re tired and worn out in the long days that make up these short years, remind yourself it’s ok. It’s ok to be tired for doing good. It’s ok to sacrifice for the treasure of eternity.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. My friend told me today: Slow your roll. Do that if you need to. Look up and remember whose you are and what you’re doing for Him through it all.
You’ve Got This!
Then tell yourself, with God, You’ve Got This!
