God loves us with an everlasting love, but our relationship with Him is not unconditional.
God loves us eternally when we belong to Him, but our relationship, our status so to speak, with Him is conditional. A lot of Christians balk at this truth, but look at scripture. There are many occasions where our relationship with the Lord is conditional to the benefits and promises He offers to us. Conditions to our relationship with the Lord begin with our salvation, not what His grace through the cross secures in us because of what Christ has done, that’s complete with no gaps. But, our relationships here on earth are conditional. : Romans 10:9 That IF thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, AND shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. This, IF we confess, AND IF we believe…the first condition to beginning our personal relationship with our Creator God. John 15 goes on to tell us we must abide in Christ, and He in us, if we are to produce His fruit. And what about His love and our joy? Many Christians haven’t taken note of the verses here in John 15 that precede the well known scripture about loving others as Jesus has loved us (and they miss the specifics on that, too):
John 15:7 – 11 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, (there’s the conditional) ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, (conditional) ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
Praise and pain can coexist
How did Christ love us? We all know the LOVE passage out of I Corinthians 13. Wives especially get lectured all too often that we are to love them (our husband, our accuser, our enemy) as Christ and that love is then wrongly equated to a love that has no boundaries. But that’s not Jesus’ love. Sure, we can-should- love our enemies and do good to those who hurt us; no problem with those truths, however let’s look a little deeper into I Corinthians 13 verse six. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. When we meet our reality head on and we know who is intentionally harming us by their words or lifestyle, we don’t love by delighting in their sin against us. Sisters, we don’t have to teeter totter between rejoicing in who our Savior is while trusting what He is doing in and through our struggle and feeling the deep pain it causes us. Praise and pain can coexist. Be encouraged, it’s not only ok to find it hard to rejoice into the face of sinful assault, it’s a loving response! We rejoice not in evil but in truth! Amen? Amen! It would be foolish for us to keep company with the one who is unrepentant and unchanging of his or her ungodly ways.
~Pause to take this in first~
(Here is a good time for me to pause and clarify for married women. If you are not safe, seek help immediately. If your husband is mistreating you, you need BIBLICAL counsel regarding your personal circumstances regarding whether to stay or leave, and how. God hates divorce. Studies show, more often than not, separation rather than Biblical counseling to work through problems together leads to divorce. Yet, there are just too many unknown variables for me to declare from a key board when someone should stay/leave. Please find someone who will counsel you with Biblical wisdom. (And know, whoever you are, and you are many, I have prayed for you at this moment.)
Look for God’s Blessing
Instead of separating ourselves (let’s be honest, that’s not always an easy thing to do-and we may feel as if we’ll make things worse), why not just call out to the Lord and try to fix the problems we’re having with our adversary? Or, like many of us are prone toward-just ignore it and it will go away. Well, because we can’t. The Lord has graciously warned us how to live with people in times like these. Psalm 1:1-2 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. When trusting the Lord to do His will both in our lives and the lives of others, we should wisely walk away from them. God says He will bless us in it. For a lot of us who have been taught to love by upholding an unbiblical understanding of God’s love, some of this is hard to take in; I get it! I encourage you to open your Bible and dig in. Read these verses and more! Ask the Lord to guide you and reveal Himself to you in His Word.
The scorning of the tongue is no small matter! Scripture says we cannot tame our tongue (James 3:8) and that it can crush our whole spirit (Proverbs 15:4)! The Lord knows this, and He HATES lies. Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination (detestable) to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush to evil, a false witness who pours out lies and he who stirs up trouble (conflict) among his brothers. When the Lord hates something so passionately, there is no doubt it doesn’t slip under His radar. He sees. He knows. HE is able to address this in the offender as He needs to, in His time. We don’t need to waste our mental or spiritual efforts on what ifs and buts–leave the things regarding others with the Lord (Romans 12:9 ).
Search me and know my heart, O God!
Now, I don’t know about you, but as we learn and read what the Lord has for us through the pain of wrongdoing from someone we love, or even a stranger, it’s awfully difficult for me to see my own shortcomings in many similar ways. Psalm 13:23-34 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the way everlasting . I’m not making light of the pain and trouble we get dragged through, that’s kind of the point here, but the Lord is faithful to challenge my heart about my own words and actions toward others as we look to Him and His Word. I thank Him for that! When we free ourselves from the bondage of another persons’ behavior, we are then able to meet the Lord for our own good, even in ways we were least expecting!
When entrapped in a battle, what does the Lord want us to know?
- It’s not personal, it’s a spiritual battle. (Eph 6:12)
- In this world we will have trouble, but He has overcome the world (Jn 16:33)
- Relationships are conditional (John 15:7)
- Christ-like love does not delight in evil (I Cor 13)
- The Lord blesses separation from evil (Psalm 1:1-2)
- The Lord detests a lying tongue and stirring up conflict (Prov 6:16-19)
- The Lord will handle vengeance as He sees fit (Romans 12:9)
Choose joy
With our hearts and eyes set on the Lord, freed from the weight of anyone else’s doing, what can we hope for? James helps us here: James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect (complete, mature) and entire, wanting nothing. Look at the first four words again, consider it (trials) pure joy. That’s a determined choice, isn’t it? Usually we want to run, to recoil somehow, from a trial because it hurts, it’s uncomfortable and always inconvenient, but that’s a far cry from the consideration of joy-pure joy. If the Holy Spirit is interfering with our natural reaction of rejecting the hardships in our lives to the polar opposite of welcoming them, there must be a good reason. The Lord doesn’t give us instruction to hurt us but because He loves us and for our good. Romans 5:3-4 But we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience , experience; and experience hope.
His Grace is Sufficient
Oh, friends, the pain from our trials is loving purposed in our lives. In our weakness, He is strong (2 Cor 12:10). But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (I Corinthians 12:9) Yes, His grace is sufficient.
There’s much more to know and learn about the Lord in the midst of our trials. The psalmist tells us just how important our hurts our to our Heavenly Father: He counts our tears and holds them in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8). He binds up our wounds and heals our broken hearts (Psalm 147:3). I could go on and on about His great love for us! Our trials aren’t about the pain but instead a divine purpose.
Our trials aren’t about the pain but instead a divine purpose.
Like labor pains producing the babies in our arms, the pains from trials in the Christian life produce precious gifts. Of course, the most precious gift we have is that of salvation through the cross of Jesus Christ. His love for us took my sin, my accusers sin, and your sin and nailed it to a cross as Jesus showed His love in a way no other ever could or would. (I Peter 2:24) He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His stripes you are healed. There is no pain we will know that Jesus didn’t know: He was despised and rejected, He was betrayed, sought, falsely judged, sentenced and murdered. Unlike me, and unlike you, He was fully innocent and without sin. We can endure trials through the pain and trust it is for our good, because God is faithful to keep His promises and is true to His character. With tribulation that works patience in us, and patience that brings experience and hope, we find ourselves here in verse 5 in the fifth chapter of Romans with a golden gem: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit which is given unto us. HOPE makes us NOT ASHAMED in our faith and love of God. Trials like this can, if we seek the Lord through them, grow our faith unashamedly. Don’t miss how big this is!
Divine Purpose in our Pain
- Challenge our decision to consider it pure joy (James 1:2-5) producing patience, maturity & completeness: wanting nothing
- Learn to glory in tribulation (Romans 5:3-4) Patience, experience, hope, unashamed faith.
- Realize our weakness precedes true strength: Boast in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10) then He makes me strong
- Discover God’s sufficiency in our time of need: His grace is sufficient (I Corinthians 12:9)
- Remember God’s love and devotion to us: He binds up our wounds and heals our broken hearts (Psalm 147:3)
- Know the Lord doesn’t overlook the little details that hurt us or the tears shed in secret: (Psalm 56:8)
- Identify with Jesus Christ while He was here on earth to die for us (I Peter 2:24)
- Grow our faith, unashamedly before the world. (Romans 5:5)
- Build our faith to confess Christ before men (Matthew 10:32-33 )
- Hear our Lord Jesus confess us to His Father in Heaven (Matthew 10:32-33)
Trials like this can, if we seek the Lord through them, grow our faith unashamedly.
Matthew 10:32-33 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. The Lord loves us so much He makes a way in our life’s circumstances to give us all we need to honor Him, to proclaim Him before men unashamedly with our faith secure in who we know, tried and true, to be! We proclaim Jesus Christ in a world so dark and broken they cannot see or understand. The result is heaven’s proclamation of each of us from our Lord Jesus Christ! Consider it joy.
Consider it joy, my Sisters. Pure joy.
Consider it pure joy, Sister.
