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Staying at home is a hard job
Staying at home is a hard job for many women. For those following the Lord, our greatest ministry and fulfillment is at home as a wife and mom, according to Titus 2. So, how do we do with with joy?
Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. In this way they can teach the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be discredited.
Titus 2:3-5
Therefore, as difficult as it may be for us, how can we learn to find joy, create joy and be joyful in this divine calling over our lives? Is there space for ourselves? There sure needs to be.
How to find time for yourself?
When we’re at home with the children, homeschooling, shuttling and keeping the house running smoothly-or not-the question is: how to find time for yourself?
There is a way
My first question for you (and me) is, how do you start your day-what does that look like?
Do we realize and live our dependency on the Lord and getting to know Him more personally? Are we spending time alone with Him (and maybe that hot cup of coffee)? That’s where we need to start, with the Lord and our priority of Him in our lives no matter what season we find ourselves.
Are we desiring to spend with our Lord?
First things first. It may not always look the same, but it should be a gnawing of our heart to find ourselves alone, together, before our Lord and Savior.
Early Risers?
From there, when we have young children who are early risers, and we are rightfully out of steam when the night draws in, finding a way to get up before them is essential in our sanity and our growth with the Lord. At times where we struggle with long nights, sick days, circumstances demanding urgent attention (these are not long standing times), our time with the Lord may be a quiet reliance of ongoing prayer and praise within our hearts and overflowing from our mouths as we walk with Him in the valley.
Focus on Praise
Days where we struggle to open our eyes can be focussed on praise, thanksgiving of who we know God to be. As our hearts are pure and full of God’s presence we can overflow that into our day through song and prayer. Be mindful, friends, we can’t find something good from our hearts that isn’t there.
The good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure, and the evil man brings evil things out of his evil store of treasure.
Matthew 12:35
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23
We have to put in the time and effort to fill our hearts with the Lord if we expect Him to overflow from us! We serve a living, loving God not a Jeanie in a Bottle. The Lord give us direction and instruction to live life with Him. His blessings are too many to count, but we have a work to do, too.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on these things.
Philippians 4:6-8
Living with Chronic Realities
Yet, there are times and some of us who do have a chronic and constant need for our attention beyond a ‘season.’ For us, the weight of constant caregiving it’s a way of life. God knows. And, even there, He desires to be with us.
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.
James 4:6-7
The answers aren’t easy. Not easy to come up with and not easy to follow through. Yet, where there is a struggle, there is great promise of refreshing joy with the Lord.
Rest in God alone, O my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
Psalm 62:5
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him…
Psalm 28:7-8
Making Adjustments
A little less sleep, an adjustment to our schedule, a breather from some way and somebody that we may refuel in the only way that will not only sustain us but fill us with joy.In the ordinary ebb and flow with life, we need to make necessary adjustments in our own personal life as well as our life with our children.
If you live in an area where the weather changes, you know what it means to make the adjustment based on external circumstances. Rain, snow, ice, sun/heat come at us either expectantly or out of the blue. What do we do? We make the adjustment or suffer until/unless we do.
Children can be Taught
Children can be taught to be patient, to wait, to anything we determine is right and necessary for the time. I had a friend who would send her earliest wakers back up to their room to wait quietly until it was time to get up because she was spending that time with the Lord. As a young newlywed my eyes bugged out of my head at such a thought. Now? Now I realize the wisdom she was sharing with me more than 30 years ago.
Wise Advice
We need to hear and share that kind of godly and wise advice. What can you do in your home to foster a path for you to spend that time with the Lord in the life circumstance you’re in right now? Teach littles to stay quietly in their room first thing and get up a bit before them? Stay up later with only your Bible, journal, study etc and a cup of tea? (The clock is getting ready to go backwards, it might be something to consider.)
Train Your Children to Help
Train your children to help in keeping the home so you’re not doing things they’re capable of doing? Instead of running ragged cleaning early or late, you can take that time with the Lord, and maybe a hobby, too! Think about the things you do as mom and wife that no one else can do. Now, everything else? That’s where teaching others to do and be responsible for it comes in.Sometimes, what we stress over doesn’t really need to be done. At least, it’s not more important that the things we’re not doing in order to accomplish them.
Check your expectations
Check your expectations. Ah, full circle here. The more time we spend with the Lord, the better sense of what we need to do and the clearer our heart is to who we need to BE. Haughty expectations, or ourselves, our children, our home, our husband, our marriage… can sink us-with the whole crew.
Ask God to search your heart. Are your desires pleasing to Him? Or, are there places where you’re setting yourself and your family up for disappointment and destruction?
Picture Perfect is for Pinterest
Picture perfect homes is for Pinterest! That’s not real life. Nothing wrong with a neat home and a housecleaning service, but the be careful here.
I used to be that mom/wife. The house had to be/look/operate in such a way as I imagined in my own head. My poor husband when he’d dare open up our home without notice to me! Oh, what a mess I made over the years-in every way.
What was I thinking? I was striving to please some picture I’d painted in my own head of how things should be or look. BUT, I wasn’t pleasing my Lord in the effort and I sure wasn’t making a joyful home in the process-far from it.
More Joy, More Jesus!
More joy. More Jesus. It’s worth whatever adjustments we need to make, and make again as our lives change with time. This is also what our children will learn from as they grow. Time alone with the Lord, learning, listening, obeying, seeking, repenting, loving and following Him IS what we should all desire as Believers. Love the Lord with our ALL.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
Mark 12:30
The Bottom Line
Really, that’s the bottom line. No matter what life brings, or where the Lord takes us season to season, day to day-always changing, He wants us to walk with Him moment by moment, and to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.
If staying at home feels like a heavy assignment for you, it’s because it is. Learning to love the Lord with everything we have isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes work, and adjustments. It means priority is lived out as proof of commitment. That’s what we want from our husbands who love us, right?
When you love someone, when you say someone is most important to you, there should be action and effort to show it. Same with the us and the Lord.
There is no greater joy than walking with the Lord. He is good. He is loving; full of grace and truth. He is just and merciful. Oh, to know Him more.
If you want to learn even more about Him, check out 21 Names of God series HERE. Just a glimpse of Him and our lives are changed.
I’m praying for you: Make the adjustment. Walk with the Lord today!
