Today, Everything Homeschooling Went to the Trash

Searching

I spent the weekend in a mad search for something I would need in my hand in a few short days, but wasn’t where it belonged. From there, it all unfolded.

(To hear more about my search and what else I found, listen HERE.)

Before long I was completely reorganizing my closet, which led to my dressers, office and, you get the picture. I was caught up in my personal version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

Closet Clean Out

Now, before I continue, you have to know-my closet and drawers look amazing! What a strange way to accomplish a complete closet clean out! But, my clothes and shoes were not the only area that got a good purging.

Usually I am super organized and could grab my birth certificate and any important piece of paper in a second, but not this time. All of my family’s documents were exactly where they I keep them, yet mine were not in their rightful place.

File by File

So, out came my files and one by one I searched each folder with great anticipation. Knowing what my sight was set on, I went file by file. There’s a lot of life in these files; we’ve been married 33 years. This could take awhile. It didn’t take long before my search got sidelined. Suddenly I was thumbing through a lifetime of memories.

Hoping the Gliding Motion of my Soft Rocking Chair Would Soothe My Heart

My first baby turned 27 a few months ago, he’s a wonderful young man and I’m still getting used to his empty room. Believe it or not, I sat alone in my living room, hoping the gliding motion of my soft rocking chair would soothe my heart as I read through his lifetime.

This is one Parenting Decision I’d do Differently in a Heartbeat

At last I listened to the Lord and took him out of school to homeschool, but it took awhile. Much too long. This is one parenting decision I’d do differently in a heartbeat and never would have put him in school. (A troubled heart full of things Christian moms need to know both from my time in the classroom and time at home-in God’s Word, but that’s a post for another day.)

Thankfully God’s grace out weighed my bull-headedness and we spent the majority of his school years together. Currently, I had kindergarten report cards, first grade awards and reminders from second grade in my hands and strewn far and wide all around me.

A Big Pile of Trash

On one hand I saw memories overlapping with each glimpse to a new pile. Conversely, on the other hand-and in the same scope of vision- I saw a really big pile of trash.

Now, from years passed all in one place were test scores, filled worksheets, five year old stick figures of Dad, crayon-drawn hearts with “Mom” scribbled on scrap paper, notes from teachers, art projects worn and torn, and more grew a mountain, page by page, on the floor next to me. How could nearly thirty years have escaped me so quickly?

Trash to Treasure

A few of these are treasures and will be tucked away safely. But for the most part, each paper stacked atop of the last is nothing worth saving. It’s been said that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, but today my treasure turned to trash.

Today, Everything Homeschooling Went to the Trash

The growing pile jarred memories from the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart. I am still getting used to my oldest calling another house his home; these memories are treasures. My baby is closer today to 18 than he is to 17. I’m not ready for all things adult in his life, too, but it’s reality. My boys, how I cherish each of them. I am thankful for these once little boys of mine.

But today, everything homeschool, all 18 years of it, went to the trash.

I don’t expect this is great motivation for those who are in the crux of homeschooling years. Mommas who wonder if they’ll make it through today while the coffee still drips into their first cup of the morning. Wives who are holding all things together while their husbands work or in their absence.

Yet, encouragement is exactly what I aim for here.

High School Students

I remember when my high school students would come in and out of my classroom like one of those rotating hotel doors in NYC. In, out, round and round they’d go from one class and subject to the next.

Where God had Gifted Them

Some of them were real brainiacs, far smarter than I will ever be. Others excelled in sciences and math as if their life depended on it at 15, while some would sit for hours stringing words together rivaling the likes of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. Each shined where God had gifted them, and each gathered and deduced and dispersed academics as the individuals they were.

Retain All the Academic Information

Like my own children, those teenagers took with them some of the information they were taught through the pages and time from their academic assignments.

The key word here is some. Not any one of them would retain all the academic information each teacher spent hours a day presenting to them, and even testing them over. Yes, they’ll remember some things. And, somewhere down the road, they’ll likely learn many of the things they once considered irrelevant. That’s life.

Losing Sleep for Fear You Will Fail Them

So, when you find yourself losing sleep over what your child needs to know or from fear of what you will fail to teach them, remind yourself of this truth. No one learns everything they need to know in school. Not in kindergarten and not by the time their graduation cap is flying high above their head in celebration.

What’s The Point

Then, what’s the point? Why would any woman trade all a career has to offer her family for spending her life at home teaching her own children if in the end it’s all going in the trash?

Good Question

You know the passage in Ephesians we are going to look at a little closer. Not only have you read this passage, you’ve probably talked over it with your children.

So let’s quickly look at it here:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Fathers

In our house we call it micromanaging. No one wants someone to hover over them while they’re doing something. This is especially true if that someone will be pointing out things they’re doing wrong, or just a different way to do it. The message that is sent: you’re not good enough.

I’m sure you’ve been there. We all know what it feels like to think we’re not good enough. From a child’s perspective, when it comes down from their father, it’s not just horrible, it’s crushing.

Provoke Not

The Lord knows that, of course. Here in beginning of verse four He makes a strong statement against it, too: And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.

It literally means not to exasperate your child. I can’t describe it any better than what I found in bible hub.

3949 parorgízō (from 3844 /pará, “from close-beside” and 3710 /orgízō, “become angry”) – properly, rouse someone to anger; to provoke in a way that “really pushes someone’s buttons,” i.e. to “really get to them” in an “up-close-and-personal” way (because so near, literally “close beside”).

bible hub

So, you now know better how to explain to and pray for your child’s father when it comes to the easy pattern of micromanaging your son or daughter. I personally think this is most common between a dad and his son, but the Bible doesn’t discriminate in that way.

Moms, Pray For Your Husband in this Way

No matter how common or effortless it is to fall into this standard, it’s damaging to our children and it’s sinful. Dads, try to do better by making a concerted effort not to treat your children this way. Moms, pray specifically for your husband in this way. God’s ways are right, and He will hear your prayers.

Now we’re getting somewhere. I haven’t forgotten the question: Why would a woman give up all the world has to offer: social status, self-respect and financial security, for staying at home and teaching her children?

I think the biggest part of our answer lies right here in Ephesians. Same verse as above, but at the end, now.

…but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

God’s Order

But wait a minute, this is a continuum to fathers. Then, it can’t be an answer to our question for women, moms and wives, right?

Wrong.

So, I don’t have time to go into any depth about God’s order for married women in this world. It has nothing to do with worth or equality, but it has everything to do with God’s order, for our good and for His glory.

And for our children’s eternity.

Living Faithfully

 Living life faithfully, instead of what the worlds deems as successfully, should be our focussed goal. Is there success outside of faithfulness? No.  The sorority of feminism  cannot offer us more than God’s best for us. And God’s best for us isn’t dependent on the wisdom of the world.  No power, no strength, no efficiency, wealth, nor right-fighting army will ever satisfy us to our core. Only God and His word can do that.  If you’re tired of trying so hard, try changing your focus; what, who, are you striving for?

So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.  Zechariah 4:6

Read more from this blog post HERE

That said, let’s get back to the answer we’re looking for. Why would we sacrifice so much of our lives to teach our own knowing that pile of trash will grow with each passing year?

It’s Greek to Me: παιδείᾳ paideia

It’s Greek to me. The answer is right there, Ephesians 6:4…paideia. Fathers, the spiritual head of their own wife and of their family, is directed by God, our Father, how to raise these children He’s given us.

Thayer’s Greek Lexicon STRONGS NT 3809: παιδεία

παιδεία (Tdf. παιδία; (see Iota)), παιδείας, ἡ, (παιδεύω), the Sept. for מוּסָר; 

1. the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment): Ephesians 6:4 (cf. Winers Grammar, 388 (363) note); (in Greek writings from Aeschylus on, it includes also the care and training of the body.) (See especially Trench, Synonyms, § xxxii.; cf. Jowett’s Plato, index under the word Education).

BIBLEHUB

So, that’s a great word study, but where is it in the verses we’re looking into? Right in front of our noses, but we miss it more than we get it.

Discipline, training, nurture.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture (paideia) and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

Do you see it now? It is our biggest assignment from the Lord regarding raising up sons and daughters to love and serve the Lord. Fathers-see to it God’s command is carried out in your home. Mothers-see to it your children are educated just as the Lord commands here.

These words I am commanding you today are to be upon your hearts. And you shall teach them diligently to your children and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

OUR BIGGEST ASSIGNMENT FROM THE LORD

When it comes to our children, a spiritual perspective should be our parenting and educational goal. We are instructed to raise up and train our children in God’s ways. Their individual spiritual discipleship is our biggest assignment from the Lord who gave them to us. Don’t take that lightly. 

Worldview and Academics

Considering academics, we could teach our children so much-far and above what most students learn-in order to prepare them for their future profession. And maybe that is a good thing. Sometimes the education of academics displaces a biblical foundation and worldview.

(By the way, this applies even if you end up with a prodigal-our obedience to the Lord is always right, and He is always faithful. We do what He tells us to and He does what He will in the lives of the blessings we call sons and daughters.)

What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 16:26

You see, if all the years of collected papers end up in the trash, it’s ok. The truest treasure in raising your children God’s way, to love the Lord with all their heart, soul and mind is the real treasure on earth. And that is NOT trash!

Treasure in Eternity

And it’s the real treasure in eternity, too. So, Momma, when you’re tired and worn out in the long days that make up these short years, remind yourself it’s ok. It’s ok to be tired for doing good. It’s ok to sacrifice for the treasure of eternity.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. My friend told me today: Slow your roll. Do that if you need to. Look up and remember whose you are and what you’re doing for Him through it all.

You’ve Got This!

Then tell yourself, with God, You’ve Got This!

Want to Learn how to Do It all?

PODCAST HERE

Ask Yourself

The Trouble of Comparing Fruit

If you’re asking yourself, “How can I do it all?” you’re in the right place, but you”re going to have to hang with me until the end. What started out with this shared frustration quickly went to the fruit bowl.

Of course, you’ve heard it too: that’s apples to oranges. Peaches to plums. Bananas to mangos. I think the trouble of comparing fruit is obvious.

Would you like a bowl of sliced bananas topped with fresh lemon?

(Side note: are bananas even a fruit? Did you know conventionally grown bananas are considered sterile and the scant, tiny dark flecks inside are considered sterile seeds?)

Back to the point, there’s a valid reason why we don’t compare apples to oranges; they’re not the same fruit. They’re not meant to resemble one another. In fact, it’s their differences not their commonalities that are celebrated.

Fruit Baskets

It’s probably no secret that some fruits should not hang out in the same basket. You can read more about which ones and why here. But in case you didn’t know, it’s not wise to keep all fruit together. Not unless you don’t mind rotten, smelly, yucky fruit, that is.

No Fruits of the Spirit

Guilty. Back when I was a new teacher, and a younger Christian woman, I made this mistake. One day my students came into class to behold a large bulletin board hosting an overflowing fruit bowl filled with grapes, oranges, bananas, pears and apples as its glorious center piece.

If there was another reason for the fruit bowl, such as a hospitality prompt or brunch invitation, it would have been appropriately used. Sadly, this board’s statement included every word from the passage out of Galatians on the fruit of the spirit.

I’m not being nit-picky here; there is no fruits of the spirit. Unknowingly, and ignorance is no excuse; thank the Lord for His grace, I was teaching those children there were many fruits of the spirit. Dare I say, I probably even had a coloring sheet to match.

But I’m here to tell you, Friends, there is no fruits of the spirit. No, there is one Holy Spirit and He bears ONE fruit. Therefore, that fruit-Him, God’s Holy Spirit, exhibits many attributes, as does any one fruit. But it does not stand in conflict or danger of itself.

(And it DOES have a lot to do with our quest: Can I learn to do it all? Keep reading!)

Fruit of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

Flesh vs Spirit

My husband was a body builder when I met him. He also was a missionary to local teenagers. Many times he would draft the assistance of one of his buddies to help in a skit for youth gatherings.

Wearing a white t-shirt with S P I R I T written across the chest he would battle, quite forcefully, his helper whose black t-shirt was inscribed equally with the word F L E S H.

The lights and music set the stage as the two men dramatically told the story of our daily fight between the flesh and the spirit. For his skit, SPIRIT always won. FLESH would lay motionless and sometimes bloodied from the beating.

This is the fight that keeps on keeping on in our hearts: flesh vs spirit.

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

Galatians 5:16-18

Wants to do Evil

Our flesh wants to-desires to-do evil. It doesn’t take long for new parents to realize just how true God’s words are that we are all born sinners. The littlest people in our lives know how to sin without the first lesson in doing wrong.

Sinful Nature

The sinful nature. We all know it.

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21

Whoa, look how the Lord throws jealousy, selfishness and anger into the same sinful cesspool with drunkenness and sexual immorality. Is there anyone in flesh and blood who hasn’t been selfish or jealous?

The point of this passage isn’t that we should be free from any and all of these sins, or we’re doomed to be separated from an eternity with the Lord. No, it’s that we cannot live there. Our lifestyle cannot be described as such; then, as scripture teaches, we will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Saved Sinners

When we have been saved through faith in Jesus, we’re not saved from ever sinning again, but we are Saved Sinners. The Holy Spirit who lives within us has power over our sinful desires. We are not who we once were.

My pastor used to say, “To walk in the Spirit is to walk with no known sin.” The Lord tells us not only what a sinful lifestyle looks like, and ends with, but also what a Spirit filled lifestyle looks like.

The FRUIT of the Spirit

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23

Apples

There are different kinds of apples, some firmer, sweeter, tarter, redder, rounder, bigger, juicer than the next, but they’re all apples. Each one unique in its own design, but each exemplifying characteristics belonging only to an apple.

From the same Holy Spirit who fills us as we yield to Him (no known sin), we show His character, His fruit in us, by how we live.

When life is great, it’s the Spirit’s joy, peace, love and all He is that exudes from our hearts and lives. Other’s see Christ in us because we live and walk with Him.

Conversely, when life is hard the same Spirit’s attributes are known by the way we respond to the tough times, too. This is true whether it comes by a tough day at home with our children or husband, or we just “the” phone call no one ever wants to hear.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t change, but He changes us. The joy and peace we realize as we walk with Him flows from us as we walk through life, hard days, good days and ordinary days. We cannot ‘try’ to be better Christians by being kinder; we are kinder (gentle, good, self-controlled, patient, joyful, loving etc) because we are walking with the Lord and His attributes are our attributes as a result.

So, why all this about fruit versus fruits? It’s important to realize who Jesus is in us by way of His Holy Spirit. When we belong to Christ, we have Him living in us. He is ONE person in us, doing a work He desires and for the glory of the Father.

An apple is an apple.

Every apple has the skin, stem, pulp (flesh), and seeds. Each quality has a different and important role in the fruit’s whole being; without any one of them there is no apple. An apple is an apple. Yet every part thereof has a very different attribute.

One Spirit, One Fruit

And so it is with the fruit of the spirit. Unlike a fruit bowl filled with all types of fruits from different family sets, the fruit of the spirit comes from ONE spirit and exhibits ONE fruit.

When we find ourselves short on patience, without peace and joy in our life, getting angry where we shouldn’t, having no self-control, lacking goodness and kindness outside of and especially inside our homes, and walking around as if we have no faith, we have a problem.

We have a Problem

We have a spiritual problem. A spiritual problem isn’t fixed in the world, it’s fixed in the WORD and through the Holy Spirit. How many times have you decided you were going to be kinder or more patient?

So, after getting everyone ready and loaded up, you take your children to the park. Patting yourself on the back you think, so far, it’s a pretty good go of your determination of being kinder, more patient.

I Scream You Scream we all Scream for Icecream

Breathing a big sigh of relief, you’re feeling good now. happily walking away from the ice cream truck, all hands full and every face smiling! This isn’t so hard after all!

Then, only a few short steps from the long line you’d just spent way too long waiting in, it happens. One child bumps another and Mr. Smoothie leaves the cone and takes a direct hit to the hot pavement below.

Smiles and giggles seem to follow suit as tears and screams trade for their position. What seconds ago had you feeling really good about yourself in quest of kinder and more patient is history.

Quick, fast and in a hurry you realize you’re out of patience and your reaction to fallen ice cream and dramatic screams match that of your icecreamless child.

Fail

Fail. Failed attempt to be ‘better.’ You probably know this to be true, too. This happens every time we try to fix a spiritual problem in the flesh. We fail. As we should. Just like we can’t fix a flat tire from inside our house, we can’t fix a spiritual issue from inside the flesh.

But, that’s exactly what we try to do time and time again. Whatever you fill in the blank with in order to “be more patient, loving, kind, tender hearted, less angry” unless it starts and ends with more Jesus- personally-it’s not going to work. It’s a certain failure in the making.

More Jesus

For others to see Christ in us we need to walk with Him.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Galatians 5:24-26

The answer isn’t any of the things we bemoan as out of reach for ourselves. When the world tells us we need “me time,” the WORD tells us otherwise:

  • More love? More Jesus
  • More Joy? More Jesus.
  • More peace? More Jesus.
  • More patience? More Jesus.
  • More kindness? More Jesus.
  • More goodness? More Jesus.
  • More faithfulness? More Jesus.
  • More gentleness? More Jesus.
  • More self-control? More Jesus.

More Jesus.

How do I do it all?

When is the last time you asked yourself, “How do I do it all?” Time before that? This time right now?

So, hold that thought. Because, it’s not a question, really. It -the quest of how to do it all-is more of a lifestyle. I could go back through 35 years, year by year and now realize how I was asking the same thing, “How can I do it all?”

If I haven’t figured int out in over three decades of seeking, loving, obeying and striving to honor the Lord in my life, I’m not going to figure it out today. And there’s a good reason why.

In retrospect, it isn’t a question I asked once, but rather it has become a pattern and lifestyle. And it’s a futile quest for the Believer.

Unintentionally we take it-this self-directed objective of doing it all- from an inquiry for the moment and make it a lifestyle. We continually seek a way to do it all, and we continually fall short. Something is amiss.

It’s amiss, Friends, because it’s altogether the wrong question. We, as a follower of Christ should be asking instead: “How am I going to live by and follow the Holy Spirit in my life…today?”

How am I going to live by and follow the Holy Spirit in my life…today

Tamara henion

So, I’ll ask you now, what are you doing today to and follow and live by the Holy Spirit?

More Jesus.

More anything worthy of good in your life: MORE JESUS.

Let’s Talk about the Real Challenges!

(Part 1, because, let’s talk about this!)

No Matter What

Because we are alive there are challenges no matter what we do with our time.


God’s Tender Grace

I’m going to address this question from a different perspective. It comes from a place of God’s tender grace and faithfulness to pursue and prune me to become more like Jesus.

It comes from shoes that have been filled equally in a career and as a homeschooling mom (18 years each side).

Challenge = Divine Opportunity


So, here it is: I’ve never met a challenge in all these years that didn’t give me the opportunity, a divine opportunity, to train my children or choose for myself to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind.

And, that’s exactly what the Lord wants from His children: to love and obey Him. Homeschooling is only an extension of godly parenting, and godly parenting is sanctifying.

Challenges are Divine Opportunity

Tamara Henion

Now, go do life taking ever opportunity to become more like Christ, and teach your children the same. With God, you will not fail.

For women at home

MASTER OF THE SEAPEACEHe still calms storms

He calmed the storm to a

whisper, and the waves of the

sea were hushed.

Psalm 107:29

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